pretty little mistakes

yesterday my friend let me borrow a book called pretty little mistakes. it's like a grown up version of the choose your own adventure books and was very interesting. i read several versions. in my favorite one i ended up traveling the world on a ship and falling in love with a man named joel who also worked on the ship and we were together for our whole lives. then when i died (you die in every ending), i was reincarnated, but in every life joel and i found each other. it was quite poetic and touching. some of the other endings were not so poetic. in one of them i became, quite literally a nude circus freak who wore a chicken head while i skated around to perform. in another one i had some sort of drunken lesbian experience, and most of them involved at least some things i would never do.

but it was quite interesting to be faced with different choices, some that i have already faced in the past, but would do differently now, some that i wouldn't, some choices that i never knew existed, and to see what my attitudes were and what the consequences could possibly be. obviously the book only showed some of the possibly consequences of choices, but still, once you make a decision or choice, life is never the same.

anyway, then i was pondering today about my upcoming 30th birthday (yikes!) and i was also thinking about how practically everyone i know is pregnant, and then i got to thinking, had i stayed with a certain boyfriend a good 3 years ago (wow), and gotten married like we had talked about, there is a good chance that i could be pregnant or have a baby right now. i have never really thought about it that way. weird. of course i would likely be the same a different person that i am now, and i don't really like that girl very much, so i am pretty happy about how things are going right now. but as i shop for baby clothes for everyone, it is a unique thought, i suppose that it really could have been me.